This is my story: Justin

Aug
2016
20

posted by on Christian Encouragement, Divorce Encouragement

6 comments

There’s a foreword to this story…  I’ve met Justin and his story is compelling indeed. We’ve actually turned this story into a book we’ve titled, “Down The Rabbit Hole”… It’s on Amazon from Graceprint Books, and you can find it here – Jeff

My name is Justin and this is my story…
I am 40-something years old and I’m from the desert area of Southern California. I was a Marine who became a civilian construction contractor with the military upon my release from active duty.  I got married relatively young, and I thought my marriage was pretty typical. I was a good husband and father to my wife and three kids. In the twelve years of our marriage, we had some periods of separation that were problematic, but I thought we could weather the storm.

My wife, however decided to divorce, and I felt brutalized beyond belief. My faith was challenged to its core and I didn’t do very well. I moved to a rental house near our former home and I tried my best to pay the child support and maintain a home for my kids in the shared custody situation I was in. It was emotionally strangling for me, as I tried to compete for the affection and attention of my children. And I found I was losing the battle. As my kids grew up, and one by one began to choose their allegiance to her instead of me.

I felt so helpless and defeated, and I slowly fell into the abyss. I was smoking weed pretty heavily, and I was institutionalized briefly because of my mental state. My work faltered, and I hit a wall that I literally could not see my way around. So I decided to seek out the end of my life.

But I’m a Marine after all, and I wanted my end to be dramatic in its own way…  And I wanted my earthly departure to make a statement that would somehow reinstate my identity, reestablish my manhood and also allow me to retake control over my own life, all of which I felt had been robbed from me in my divorce and all of its ensuing relational combat with my former spouse.

I made plans to sell everything I owned, amass a substantial amount of survival gear, travel to Idaho, charter a bush plane into the secluded Frank Church Wilderness Area, and make my last stand fighting a bear in hand-to-hand combat…  It was such a great plan, and I carried it out…  But in the nearly two months I spent in the wilderness, I never met a bear… Instead I faced down my own demons, and I met God in a very deep and personal way… And I walked out of that wilderness a changed man.

6 comments

  1. Brad
  2. Lesley
  3. Annita
    • Jeff Brown
  4. Nancy Hiddemen

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