Marriage Comes With a Job Description


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I know it’s problematic when we say that marriage is more of a business decision than a romantic decision, but many of us haven’t exactly created a positive history for ourselves regarding those to whom we’ve given the job of husband and wife. So I want to make a correlation between deciding to take a marriage partner to serve and make a home with; and deciding to take a partner to work with, to bring success to our business. These are constructive thoughts and I believe they’re important to place in our relationship toolbox,
because success in marriage requires certain job skills, and failure occurs nearly every time we place a job expectation or employment demand upon a person who cannot or will not meet those requirements. In other words, if we give a person a job they cannot or will not do, they will fail at that job nearly every time. And, as you know, failure creates a setback in everyone’s life, so we don’t want to set ourselves, or anyone else, up to fail.

That’s why employers have a set of standards they use to determine if a job candidate is a suitable candidate for the job. They know it’s dumb to give someone a long-term job, if the person simply doesn’t have the history, ability, or basic equipment to do the job over the long term. And it’s also dumb to give the long-term job of marriage to someone who has a history of losing heart and quitting in the middle of the job….

So men, if you are considering taking the job of husband again, I hope you understand that a candidate for the job of husband must first develop a long, deep, abiding and verifiable history of a quality, growing relationship with the Lord Jesus. And you must be soft, and broken before the Lord. You must be determined to love your wife first, and you must be determined to lead your wife second. And you must be willing to do these things over the long term without quitting for any reason…

(Ladies, these are the basic requirements for the job of Husband. If a man doesn’t meet these basic requirements, I hope you’ll let him go before you marry him. You must never again make excuses for flaky behavior in a man, no matter how much you might love him. If you’re considering the job of being a wife, you must also determine to be soft and broken before the Lord, willing to respect your man first, and follow your man second. And you also must be willing to do so without quitting or stopping for any reason).

These long-term requirements are often hard for us to pull off, in our second or third tries in the marriage arena. The only way we can pull these requirements off is to have a long history of growing relationship with the Lord and a long history of quality decision-making in life. If we truly develop and maintain a loving bond with Jesus Christ, the ability to genuinely do the other things will fall into place.

Individuals who cannot develop a substantial history of doing those things will usually, over the course of time, become unloving, disrespectful and impossible to be around. Sadly, these folks will often tear their own houses down with their own two hands, and we are often already married to these individuals before they show this behavior. This is the scene we are trying to avoid, so let’s decide to have good, long pre-marriage interview with our beloved, so we don’t have anymore post-marriage grief. Those are my thoughts, I’d love to hear yours.

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