I Have No Man

Feb
2011
06

posted by on Relationship Encouragement

1 comment

All of us have been brutalized in our divorce experiences. That’s why the Bible, in Malachi, says: “God hates divorce”… God hates divorce because everyone involved gets such a mud bath every time it takes place. Speaking mostly to women, I want to address two common themes we often see repeating themselves as we work our way through the aftermath of our divorce. The first theme is: “I need a man to love me, to give me an identity and a purpose”, and the second is: “God must want me to be single for the rest of my life”… Neither of these common themes are true, but we want to look at them in the light of Biblical truth.
To illustrate this message, I’m going to use a passage of Scripture from John:5.
“There was a feast of the Jews, and Jesus went up to Jerusalem. Now there was a pool called Bethesda in Jerusalem and it had five porches. On these porches lay a great multitude of blind, lame, paralyzed and sick people; waiting for the moving of the water. For an angel went down at a certain time into the pool and stirred up the water; then whoever stepped in first, after the stirring of the water, was made well of whatever disease he had. Now a certain man was there who had an infirmity thirty-eight years. When Jesus saw him lying there, and knew that he already had been in that condition a long time, He said to him, ‘Do you want to be made well?’ The man answered Him, ‘Sir, I have no man to put me into the pool when the water is stirred up; but while I am coming, another steps down before me.’ Jesus said to him, ‘Rise, take up your bed and walk.” John 5:1-8

“I need a man to give me an identity and a life”…
We see this faulty, disastrous and paralyzing concept playing itself out way too often, in the lives of the women we serve. When Jesus approached this man who was stuck, paralyzed by the pool for such a long time, He immediately saw what was really wrong with him. So when the guy said, “I need a man”, Jesus didn’t give the guy what he asked for, He gave the guy what he really needed…

Jesus didn’t send this man away from the pool of Bethesda with a companion to feed him and help him in his need and paralysis for the rest of his life… God simply healed this man, so he could go on to have a productive life in Christ. Now, you might find a man to help you in your life; or you might not. But regardless of your marital situation, I believe Jesus’ voice to you would be; “You really don’t need a man; you really just need Me”…

“Maybe God wants me to be single for the rest of my life”…
“If that’s true; I’ll try to endure it”, or, “If that’s true then God is a big bully, and I just won’t obey Him.”  Well, God is not a bully. Jesus didn’t say to this man who was waiting for someone to help him, “Look, you ate too many bad matzo-balls when you were a kid; so now you’re paralyzed; so tough it out, buddy-boy”. And God isn’t saying to you, “Okay, you picked one or two bad men”, or, “I gave you a perfectly good man or two, and you blew it, so now you have to be alone for the rest of your life, so tough it out girlfriend”…

Your singleness is not a curse for you to endure. You might view it that way at times, but this life is totally not a competition for you to finally be found good enough, or worthy enough in the eyes of God, for Him to reward you with the grand exalted prize of Having A Man… Trust me; nothing could be further from the truth…

You are not single because God is cursing you. You are single because, much like this man at the pool, there really are very few solid, committed, quality Christian men out there for you to pick from to help you. All of the men you have to pick from in this world have been messed up in the same dirty mud-bath of divorce that you’ve been through (and you cannot rescue those broken men, and you cannot allow any of those broken men to rescue you from your brokenness either; because that always fails).

So if you are stuck on the side of the pool, waiting for a man to help you. Jesus will approach you, not to bring you a man necessarily, but to gently place you in the pool to rinse off the mud from the hurts of your past, and then to set you free from your paralyzing notion that you must have a man to have a life. And He will do this, so you can walk away from that pool, set free to serve Him in joy, love and grace…

In serving the Lord, you will find yourself becoming much more attractive to one of those rare, servant-hearted men out there who might be looking for someone like you. And if Mr. Wonderful never shows up, you will still have had a long, productive life in Christ, and you won’t have spent thirty-eight years being stuck, paralyzed on the side of the pool like this guy did…

Now, I hope that wasn’t too harsh, because that is never my intent. But you cannot remain stuck any longer, believing you can’t be productive for the Lord because, “You have no man” (or if you are a man, believing “You have no woman”)… We really have to get past that short-sighted notion in life… Those are my thoughts; I’d love to hear yours.

Tags: , , ,

1 comment

  1. NWANKWO JOSEPH Obiora

Trackback e pingback

No trackback or pingback available for this article

Leave a Reply