Do couples split up more during the holidays?


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Couples in the dating stages of a relationship in the twenty-first century are under a lot of pressure to perform for each other in each of the twelve months of the year, but if you believe the folks who keep track of posted relationship changes on Facebook, the months of December and January are the most prolific times for people to change their status from being “in a relationship” to “single”.

Now, I know that terminating a relationship involves a lot more emotional catharsis than just changing your Facebook status, but I don’t think that ending a dating relationship at any stage, is necessarily a bad thing. We certainly know that ending a romantic relationship before we enter into marriage with someone is way better than terminating a previously romantic relationship after we’ve entered into marriage with someone.

See, I believe in a very long and very pure, face-to-face courtship that is investigative in nature, because I believe that every person has the right to truly know and truly bond with the genuine nature of an individual, before he or she makes the permanent promise to marry someone – and if a behavior, habit, attitude or character issue emerges in the course of that long, investigative courtship that either of you finds to be untenable or deal-breaking, then I believe that it’s perfectly okay to end the relationship and never look back.

Often the holiday seasons bring about situations that expose the parts of our lives that would otherwise remain hidden, but we also know that nothing remains hidden after we marry someone, so we should embrace these opportunities to look into each other’s lives and family interactions during the holiday season, to see the true picture of another person’s life.  Maybe we’ll discover the other person is overly (or underly) gift-oriented (read, this person is either too cheap or too extravagant to the point of being financially irresponsible in his or her holiday gifting.

Maybe the holidays will expose a level of dysfunction within your person or his or her family members that you cannot live with – or maybe this season will expose within your person, a level of anger, emotional neediness, or unreadiness to make a permanent commitment that will make it necessary for you to change your relationship status… Or maybe something completely different will happen, maybe you’ll affirm that your beloved individual is truly perfect in every way… In either event, if you are in a relationship, please don’t dread the holidays; do your best to enjoy them, try to be on your best behavior, but also try to make effective use of the unique family and personal situations this season presents to you.

If you are not in a relationship, we still encourage you to enjoy this season, and we encourage you to be thankful for the current, uncomplicated nature of your life… You have lots of time to become emotionally confident, and to become ready to participate (and quietly observe someone) in discovering whether a relationship might, or might not work.

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