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Even if, even if you don’t love me anymore…
I was in a store recently and that old Eagles tune came on the music system. Now, Don Henley isn’t a prophet, but he struck on something important in that song. See, Mr Henley had to come to the conclusion that you can’t carry grudges and expect to be successful in life. And the older we get, the more important that concept becomes, because people and circumstances keep piling crud on us. And if we stockpile that crud by not releasing it when it happens, there will simply be no end the buildup.
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In the twenty years we’ve been doing this ministry, I’ve noticed some trends in the way people view the personal, fiery trial of divorce, and I’ve come to believe that in order to view this trial correctly, it must be viewed in the light of God’s eternal purpose for both of the parties involved. I also believe that earthly pain is designed by God to fulfill an eternal purpose in the life of a believer. || Read more

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I believe there are three approaches in dealing with conflict between people, and I’ve found that two of the three approaches simply don’t work.  The first approach that doesn’t work is the rescuer approach and the second is the justice warrior approach. We’ll talk briefly about each of these and discuss why they almost never resolve a conflict over the long-term, then we’ll discuss the one approach that works.  || Read more

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“Those who built the wall loaded themselves so that with one hand they worked at construction, and with the other, they held a sword”. Nehemiah 4:17
As we prepare for the holiday season, I’m considering the relationships which often get turned upside-down in a divorce… Now, we know there are some divorces where everyone remains supportive and everything stays hunky-dory. Some detached families never have conflict and some exes and children respect one another to no end. These folks are never threatened or subverted by the other partner and everyone’s personal boundaries are always respected, every time… That however, is not the way a divorce usually shakes out in the real world. So, how do we deal with these tough situations? || Read more

Kindness

Nov
2010
28

posted by on Relationship Encouragement

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This is Joanne. I was reading something by Stephen & Alex Kendrick this week, and I was struck by some of the thoughts these two had written about kindness. I’d like to share some of these thoughts with you, perhaps you’ll be inspired as well. Kindness is a quality I would like to develop more in my own life. || Read more

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We Christians talk about a lot of deep stuff, but this Christian life is pretty simple. Do you have a dog?  Our Golden Retriever goes through a whole dance routine just to get a cookie, but the truth is, she’d get the cookie anyway because we love her. We don’t give our dog chocolate, even though she asks for it, because it’s bad for her. Now, if we’re that good to our dog in giving her what she wants, and not giving her what would hurt her; how much better is God to us, in giving us what we need and keeping us from those things which might harm us? || Read more

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Many of us battle with discouragement over the hand life has dealt us. I sometimes think of God’s command to Zerubbabel that he not “Despise the day of small things”. Zerubbabel (Pronounced Zur-rubb-a-bull) was not dealt a great hand in life, but he still had to play that hand the best he could. In this story, God has just given Zerubbabel a daunting job to do. || Read more

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Have you been caught up in some kind of sexual immorality? Have you found yourself kind of winking at those who are involved in sexual sin? Have you unwittingly slid into the belief system of the world regarding these things? If you are part of this culture, chances are, to some degree you probably have. || Read more

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I think if we look hard enough, there is always something to be thankful for! Did you have a place to lay your head last night when you were drop dead tired from your busy day?  Was there Tylenol in the cupboard when you needed something to calm that dull ache in your head? Were there a few more pennies in the bottom of your pocket when you were dying for a soda or coffee to give you that needed rush to get through the 3 0’clock lag? Was there a child to smile up at you and give you an impromptu hug when you felt that you had no one to really care whether you lived or died? Do you have a roof over your head and clothes on your back? || Read more

posted by on Relationship Encouragement

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In a relationship or marriage, a woman tends to crave love and a man tends to crave respect. When a woman feels unloved in a relationship or marriage, her anger will often rise up within her, she will tend to get disrespectful and she will often look for a fight. Conversely, when a man feels disrespected, he will generally become unloving and he will often fight. Those of us who counsel previously married folks know that friction and conflict between couples who’ve been married before can cause the more strongly-willed person to disengage || Read more