posted by on Biblical Opinion

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I believe that unforgiveness, anger, jealousy, worry and fretting over the future all have their root in just one feeling, and that feeling is fear.
The Bible says: “I sought the LORD, and He heard me, and He delivered me from all my fears.” Psalms 34:4
The Bible also says: “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.” 1John 4:18
I believe, as the subject of fear is addressed in these passages, the Bible is telling us that, if we live in fear; then we don’t understand God’s immense love for us, and if we don’t understand God’s love for us, then we will believe that God is untrustworthy. || Read more

posted by on Relationship Encouragement

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I work with someone who has taken our Grace for Divorce class a couple of times, and we got into a discussion over the subject of “Emotional availability”. This is a subject I cover briefly in our book, Working Through The Crisis, but I felt like I might need to discuss it again. Emotional availability is the term I use to describe the willingness of a woman to physically and emotionally lose herself in falling in love with a man. And this is no small deal because I believe it’s the genuine, total bonded love of a woman for a man that provides much of the glue that holds a marriage together… || Read more

posted by on Divorce Encouragement

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One of our friends shared this note on our Facebook group page and I wanted to share it here as well… Our Facebook pages are great places for you to feel anonymous, loved, encouraged and comfortable, I encourage you to join us (and “Like” us) there. There’s a link at the top of this page that will take you…
“The fact that God has kept me single shows me how much He loves me, because He is protecting me from being hurt again. I know if I never meet that special person who sees me as the one, and I him; I will be okay and I will have joy.  I thought that I had to have a man in my life to be happy, but I was wrong. || Read more

posted by on Relationship Encouragement

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This is Joanne. As I’m re-reading the book, “Boundaries” by Cloud and Townsend, this quote jumped out at me… “The fear of the unknown often sets up within us a very powerful internal resistance to setting personal boundaries in our relationships. Being controlled by others is a safe prison. In a safe prison, at least we know where all the rooms are. One woman said to us, ‘I didn’t want to move out of hell, because I knew the names of all the streets!” Stopping to reflect on that, I realized how true it often is. || Read more

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Truth without Grace is called judgment. It is “The law” and it is cold, angry, judgmental and impossible to live with. Truth without grace will turn off those you interact with, and it is the easiest thing in the world for Christians to fall into. As you‘ve probably seen, your fleshly personality (and mine) is not blushingly attractive. || Read more

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I’ve been forced by the circumstances of several friends to rethink my position on the subject of using external authority to bring about the fair and equitable enforcement of a post-marriage agreement involving the visitation rights of a non-custodial parent with his or her children. I’m including these thoughts in a new version of our book, “Working Through The Crisis”. I wanted to share them here as well. Sometimes this blog will be more practical in nature, this is one of those times… || Read more

posted by on Divorce Encouragement

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Lori wrote to us in response to our previous blog. I wanted to share her thoughts to help us gain a better perspective on the real-life issues of raising children in a post-divorce household…
Jeff, before my divorce I would have been a very strong proponent of the idea that “every child needs both parents”, but every child needs loving, non-abusive parents. I was forced to obtain a legal protection order to protect myself from an abusive former spouse and also to protect my child from his abusive co-parent. I think, as Christians, we just need to be honest regarding whether our child is really in danger from their other parent. || Read more

posted by on Christian Encouragement

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A love letter can be disguised as an impossible circumstance…
“O LORD, be gracious to us; we have waited for You. Be their arm every morning and our salvation also in the time of trouble”. Isaiah 33:2. God is not mad at us, even when it looks like He might be. Isaiah wrote this passage as Israel was being besieged by the Assyrians. It was not a pleasant time for anyone, but Isaiah was wise enough to realize that this season of incredible destruction and brutality, perpetrated by people who were possessed of unrequired meanness would only last so long, and Isaiah also had the foresight and knowledge to ask the Lord to, “Be their arm every morning”. || Read more

posted by on Divorce Encouragement

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We get all kinds of people in our relationship and divorce recovery classes. We get angry ones, broken ones, sexually proactive ones, we get women who’ve had abortions and we get homosexual men. In case you haven’t noticed, those things are pretty big no-no’s in religious circles these days. I used to be intimidated by these folks, because I simply had no idea what to say to them. I didn’t want to be drawn into a fight. My religious training had me believing that God avoided these folks as well, because He didn’t want to fight with them either. I’m seeing things a lot differently these days. I’m seeing that God isn’t angry at all, He is confident, loving and gracious with everyone, but He won’t be baited into a fight. || Read more

I Have No Man

Feb
2011
06

posted by on Relationship Encouragement

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All of us have been brutalized in our divorce experiences. That’s why the Bible, in Malachi, says: “God hates divorce”… God hates divorce because everyone involved gets such a mud bath every time it takes place. Speaking mostly to women, I want to address two common themes we often see repeating themselves as we work our way through the aftermath of our divorce. The first theme is: “I need a man to love me, to give me an identity and a purpose”, and the second is: “God must want me to be single for the rest of my life”… Neither of these common themes are true, but we want to look at them in the light of Biblical truth. || Read more