An Open Letter From A Sociopath


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(This is a letter from someone who read our blog. The reason for sharing is to remind you that all the devotion in the world will not sway one of these persons from their mindset. We encourage you to be aware and to maintain good boundaries.)  

I am a sociopath, and I’m perfectly okay with that designation. I don’t think I’m a monster, and even though you’ve probably been told to stay away from me, I don’t believe you need to fear me at all. You do have to realize however, that I am the singular person in my universe, and there’s nothing you could ever do that would cause me to genuinely attach to you. I am simply not capable of having a normal relationship, so please do not place those expectations upon me. Doing this will only leave you bitter, hateful, angry and frustrated.

Contrary to most things you’ve heard about me, I am not intent on destroying your life. Speaking from my own mentality, destroying you is not my goal. The true fact-of-the-matter is, that I literally don’t care that much about you either way.

I am just not capable of normal feelings. For example, when someone in your life is hurt, or sick, or dies, it might be considered normal for me to feel compassion for you, but I literally feel nothing. So, to compensate for those non-existent feelings, I simply try to fake an emotional response and then look for a convenient exit from the situation as quickly as possible. I really don’t understand emotions, so all I can do is mimic the words and facial expressions that are presented to me at the time.

My life is totally self-driven, and there are really just two things that make me feel good – or make me feel anything at all – and those things are money and sex. But the good feelings those two diversions provide to me are very short-lived indeed. Gaining a sexual or monetary conquest gives me a certain joy, but that feeling only lasts for a few hours, and then I just go back to feeling nothing.

Many sociopaths have violence and anger issues, and they are highly prone to act out in fury and rage when they are denied in some way, or they are not taken seriously enough to suit them in a particular moment. But I don’t do that very often. I’ve just not found anger and rage to be effective for my goals. I’ve also noticed that many sociopaths use forms of religious doctrine to control those who fall into their world, and while that approach is effective indeed, it just doesn’t fit my personal style.

And since I’m driven by self, sex, and money, I usually don’t keep anyone around for very long anyway, because I’ve found that partners in long-term relationships usually start to have expectations of me acting normally and making commitments, and I do not really have that capability within me.

Some sociopaths make hurting their goal, and they seem to go out of their way to cause emotional and physical pain. And even though most people wind up getting hurt in their personal interactions with me, the plain fact is that I’m not really interested in hurting you. I just don’t care enough about you to expend that kind of energy.

Some sociopaths also make thievery their goal, and they will be very adept at taking money and things from you during the course of your personal involvement with them. But I’m different that way, I guess, because I want to have enough on my own to never feel that I need anything from you. However, if you choose to give me things while we’re together, I will certainly consider those things to be mine after we break up.

The most important thing you have to realize is that, for me, the opposite of love and respect is not hate and disrespect, the opposite of both is indifference. And I’m really indifferent to feelings in general. I will not show you kindness and respect as a person until you first show me love and respect as an authority. And I genuinely believe, in my own mind, that I’m a harmless human being. I just want to live my life, make money, and have sex, that’s really it.

So that’s my story. There are a lot of guys out in the world like me. And as long as I can use what I have to get what I want, there will always be women interested in giving it to me.

And incidentally, I am completely immune to your efforts to change me. I am perfectly settled with who I am. And I will always be puzzled by your efforts to place your version of normal upon me. If that is your goal for me, it would be better for you to leave me alone. Thank you.

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