A Letter From Robin


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Jeff, I am a relatively young woman who is recently divorced. I have pursued men before in my life, and those pursuits have led to some truly impossible relationships… I’ve been wondering lately, how to successfully engage the opposite sex, if flirting with men is out of the question… I know I’m not ready for a relationship right now; and that becomes more apparent every day, as I wrestle with feelings of sadness and regret. I don’t really know if I’ll ever be ready to date again, but I don’t want to be alone all my life either. I guess for right now, loneliness is the lesser of two evils. I do fear, however, that by the time I’m ready, it might be too late…

Jeff, I had a friend pass away recently… This woman was beautiful, but she suffered from a lot of inner turmoil like I do… I believe she might have taken her own life, but her family didn’t want to pursue that conclusion. I’m bringing this up because she must have felt so very alone inside. But Jeff, she wasn’t alone; she had family and friends who loved her… I’ve attempted to take my life once before, and I’ve regretted doing it, but I’m still having a hard time with my friend’s death, because of the depression and sadness in my own life. There have been many days I thought I couldn’t take any more pain, but somehow, because of my new faith in God, I’ve come to believe He really has a plan for me… I wish He would share that plan more fully with me, but I’ve come to see that, it is what it is… Jeff, thanks for listening to me, your friend; Robin

Robin; that was a cathartic group of statements you just made, and I don’t want them to go unnoticed… I too, entertain those dark thoughts from time to time, and I’m a guy who’s supposed to have everything in life that everyone would want… But I know that it’s the unfulfilled dreams and unrelenting pressures of life which drag us down… And at the risk of sounding trite; I’ve learned the answer to every unanswerable question always lies in Jesus… I’ve learned that, He and His love; He and His plan; He and His mercy; He and His discipline; and He and His finely orchestrated seasons of pain and suffering, which He brings each of us through; all have a designated purpose to polish the character He is building in us for eternity…

Robin, none of us really has all the answers when it comes to relationships with the opposite sex… None of us really knows; beyond the obvious, why some people stick and stay in our lives; and some people abandon us and leave us… We know that every individual is different; and we know that every situation is different as well… And we also know that, as we get older and wiser, and we become more attuned to the things of God; we seem to encounter fewer and fewer people who would even be a reasonable candidate for marriage to us… So we naturally believe, that if we were to meet someone who might be a candidate for marriage; we want to have all the answers ready at the tip of our tongues so we don’t blow it and screw up our only chance with Mr. Wonderful…

But, in these awkward social situations, we are dealing with our own uneasiness and we are also dealing with the fears of our potential Mr. Wonderful as well… So, there are no easy answers to these questions, except to simply fall in love with Jesus, and to trust Him with our future on every level.

And we must also believe that, if we will live a daily and obvious life of purity and service to others – the cream will rise to the top – and we might meet another pure-hearted servant who will be easy to relate to – and this person will make it easy to be in love again… But Robin, if that never happens; we still haven’t really lost anything; because we’ve been in love with Jesus the whole time… And regardless of what happens in this life, we will meet our Loving Savior in the midst of heaven, and we will continue to love Him for eternity…

So Robin, we really can relax with all this stuff. Because we know the God who knows everything, and He loves us completely, and He has it all figured out… And Robin, if we love and trust God completely, I believe He won’t let us miss the good things He has for us… And when it comes to “Making something happen” with the opposite sex, please trust me when I say this… If God doesn’t have a particular person for you; and if a relationship isn’t easy for you to have or hold on to; you simply do not want to pursue that relationship. Robin, I hope these words were helpful to you. Your friend: Jeff

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