“But I Don’t Want To Be Divorced”


posted by on Christian Encouragement


Some of us might be continuing to remain separated indefinitely. We might be putting off an inevitable decision to end a marriage because we simply don’t want to be divorced. Now I’m not advocating for divorce at all, but I believe that, if the decision clearly needs to be made, then we should overcome the fear and develop the resolve to make and follow through with the decision. Often, we don’t want to give a dead marriage the proper burial it deserves, because we’re concerned with the way we’ll feel about ourselves and possibly with the way God will feel about us after we’re divorced. I don’t believe it’s necessary to feel that way.
We should never marry or divorce carelessly, but we should also never assume that God will be angry and have no use for us if we make a decision to end our marriage. God is not a fan of sin or divorce, but He loves people, and we can see in His Word that He can significantly use a person, even if that person has come from a background which in our minds should have disqualified him or her from God’s blessing for life… But God doesn’t think like we do… So let’s look in the Bible, at the genealogy of Jesus, to see the incredible level of eternal purpose which God can place within a person who has come from a troublesome background…

In Matthew 1:1-6 we read, “The book of the genealogy of Jesus Christ: Abraham begot Isaac, Isaac begot Jacob, and Jacob begot Judah.  Judah begot Perez by Tamar, Perez begot Hezron, and Hezron begot Ram. Ram begot Amminadab, Amminadab begot Nahshon, and Nahshon begot Salmon. Salmon begot Boaz by Rahab, Boaz begot Obed by Ruth, Obed begot Jesse, and Jesse begot David, and David begot Solomon by Bathsheba, who was the wife of Uriah.”

Let’s start with Tamar. Tamar was one of Jesus’ great-great-grandmothers, but her story involves some glaring sexual intrigue, which she used to produce a son for her Father-in-law, Judah. Tamar was first married to Judah’s son Er, but he died, so Tamar married Judah’s other son Onan, who also died. Judah then promised Tamar that his third son, Shelah would marry her, but he never fulfilled that promise. So Tamar disguised herself as a prostitute and offered herself to Judah in the town square. Judah followed through with her offer, but he didn’t have any money at the time, so Tamar took Judah’s staff and ring in pledge for him to come back and pay her. Tamar became pregnant from this liaison, and Judah said she should be killed for her adultery. Tamar then produced Judah’s possessions which identified him as the father of her two sons, and the lineage which led to Jesus was continued through this union between Tamar and Judah.

Now let’s talk about Rahab. Rahab was included among Jesus’ great-grandmothers, but she entered the Biblical picture as a prostitute in the land of Jericho. Rahab found favor with Joshua’s men, when she hid them in her home as they were spying out Jericho to determine its possible weaknesses for capture in the years following the Exodus of the Israelites from Egypt. Rahab was saved from Jericho before its destruction, she became an adopted Israelite where she married Salmon. Thus she was included by God’s grace, in the lineage which led to Jesus.

Now let’s look at Ruth. Ruth was a previously-married and widowed Moabite who would have been considered lower than a slave in the Biblical period of Judges when she appeared in Israel on Boaz’ farm to glean barley in order to feed herself and her Mother-in-law. Ruth found favor with Boaz and he married her, therefore Ruth was honored as another of the imperfect people whom God chose to further the earthly lineage of His Son, Jesus.

Let’s close this out by looking at Bathsheba. Bathsheba was the woman, with whom King David was so enraptured that he had her brought to him for a sexual encounter. Bathsheba became pregnant with David’s child while she was married to someone else, so David had her husband killed in battle to cover it all up. Bathsheba became David’s wife, and she became the mother of King Solomon and thereby one of Jesus’ great-grandmothers.

Here’s the point. I know that we feel guilty and fearful when we are faced with making a regrettable decision to extricate ourselves from an impossible situation into which we might have gotten ourselves. But I want you to see from the lives of these women and men whom God significantly used, that God is not intimidated by our past at all. God can redeem some very tough circumstances to accomplish His plan in the life of someone who is willing to move forward in faith. I know you don’t want to be divorced… I know you never planned any of this… But if God isn’t allowing your past to have a lasting impression in His mind, then I hope you can develop the long-term resolve to move forward, and to free yourself to live in the plan He’s designed for you right now…
Those are my thoughts; I’d love to hear yours.

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  1. Michelle
    • Jeff Brown
    • Brenda B.

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